I have been brought up in a very politically conscious and politically involved family. We debate current issues at all family gatherings, we talk policy, and if we don’t agree with someone’s position, we insult them by claiming that they are closet Republicans. Generally, in terms of presidential candidates of the past, there has not been much debate over who we are supporting and why because it has never mattered, there was usually always a frontrunner to throw our support behind very early on.

This year, however, is throwing me for a loop. My parents and I were initially Kucinich supporters, some of my aunts were initially supporting Hillary, and others were initially with Barack or Richardson. As the primary season has progressed, there have been some interesting shifts in the family dynamics of political support. As Richardson and Kucinich dropped out of the race the tide of family support turned to the Barack camp. The last hold out has been my aunt, who coincidentally lives in New York and worked for Hillary’s Senate campaign in the past. She has been wracked with indecision, between the majority of the family pushing and rationalizing for Barack, her personal experience working with and for Hillary, and her guilty conscience that a feminist could not vote for a man when a woman is running for office.

Hearing of her guilt and indecision in the days leading up to Super Tuesday (when she caved and voted for Barack) actually made me feel sort of guilty that never once have I given Hillary a second thought or considered supporting her. I have been through a stage of supporting about every other Democratic candidate out there, and even toying with the idea of supporting a Bloomberg Independent bid, but at no time have I even considered Hillary. And I had been a big supporter of her Senate bids, even donating to her campaign.

It’s not that I don’t think she’s qualified. I think she is brilliant. It’s not that I don’t think that she can’t win the Presidency, she’s got the Clinton political machine at her disposal, and the Clintons have always had my admiration as masterful politicians. It’s not like I really don’t want a woman to be President. I would be ecstatic for a woman to become President, and for women to gain more political leadership roles.

However, I think that Hillary and I fell out sometime when she was gearing up for her Presidential bid and she started pandering to conservatives on funding for the Iraq War, trying on a sort of hawkish persona. I have since then been disappointed in her for pandering and more importantly for giving off the impression that she is overcompensating because she is a woman. She didn’t need that, but she sold out.

So that’s that for a political reflection, I suppose. And here I remain with my fingers crossed for Barack on what I like to call the “got hope?” Express.

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